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The Nose Pin Zone

you can't explain aliensHello, this is Bill O'Reilly, and welcome to the show.

As you know, human beings across the globe are currently being systematically exterminated by a vast army of powerful warcraft controlled by telepathic alien beings who claim that human speech is an abomination to their god and thus we must all be eliminated. In fact, there's rumor, which you may have heard from MSNBC before they were pulverized in the first attacks, that the broadcast of Fox News itself may be the reason the aliens came to destroy all humanity, but we here at the Factor know what this is really all about. This is just another scheme by good King Obama to silence the voices of honest, bed-ridden septuagenarians like you.

There's no doubt that this attack was all planned way in advance of the 2014 mid-terms in an effort to alter the face of the electorate and thus ensure Democratic control of Congress. This is made all the more transparent by the way Obama obviously ordered our military to lay down its arms and allow itself to be atomized by the alien creatures, showing what a communist traitor he really is.

Now there's no one left to protect you but Fox News, so what can you do? You can start by grabbing your guns and bolting your doors but, by all means, be sure and order my book "100 Ways to Survive the Annihilation of the Human Species by Telepathic Aliens Led by Socialist Democrats Like Nancy Pelosi and Barack Hussein Obama." It's available on Amazon or can be found in the smoking wreck of your local book store.

Well, that's it for this edition of the Factor. If you're still alive tomorrow please tune in as my guest will be the dessicated husk of Anne Coulter... What? It IS Anne Coulter? You sure? That's great. So until tomorrow, remember that the spin always stops... right here.


end rant

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Betting Parlour
Long line of people waiting to wager on "Discovery of intelligent life on other planet" but ignoring "Jesus returns"
Which way to the men's room?