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No More Tote Bags, No More Books!

jesus universityIn 2010 National Public Radio received the princely sum of $2,700,000 in federal aid, an amount which sent Republican legislators into frothing, apolectic rage over this seemingly wide-open spigot to the Treasury.

By contrast, in 2010 Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, a private college in the backwaters of Lynchburg, Virginia, received $445,000,000 in federal aid.

That is not a typo.

Liberty College, in case you didn't know, is not a very good college. Until it tightened its grip on the federal teat it had to be bailed out by Reverend Sun Myung Moon. It used to be considered a Tier Four school, four then being the bottom rung, until the system was simplified to just two tiers. Now it's a Tier Two school. Yay.

The reason for this is simple as it is, in fact, little more than a Christian monastery wallowing in Biblical creationism. You can't dance there, you can't drink there, you can't get cozy with the opposite sex there and you damn sure won't learn anything about evolution there. Welcome to 1392. Or Tehran.

Even so, it's the largeest evengelical college in the world, as biblical birds are known to flock, and is not shy about the fact that its mission is to graduate as many mis-educated students as possible, especially in the field of law. Wuh-wo!

Anyway, it seems a bit unfair to me, to put it mildly, that a single college bent on miseducating students takes financial precedence over a national institution that attempts to enlighten and entertain one and all.

The answer here is simple... NPR needs to transform each member station into a college for the broadcast arts, and each campus would run a radio station staffed by the students. Ira Glass would be the head of the Literature department, Garrison Keilor would head the English department and Tom & Ray Magliozzi would be in charge of the Industrial Arts. On-line classes, of course, just like Liberty College.

The schedule of programs would be essentially the same except that Terri Gross would have to read the lunch menu every say and we'll be thankfully free of the pledge drives forever. Thank you, Jesus.

=Lefty=

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john boehnerFebruary 10, 2011: "We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner.

So far the list of GOP accomplishments for 2011 is:

(1) Attempted curtailing of abortion rights.
(2) Attempted defunding of Planned Parenthood.
(3) Attempted defunding of NPR.
(4) Investigating Muslims.
(5) Declaring English as America's Official Language.
(6) Reaffirming "In God We Trust". Yawn.
(7) Challenging AARP's tax-exempt status.
(8) Approved defunct funding for failed religious schools.
(9) Attempt to destroy Medicaid.
(10) Attempt to destroy Planned Parenthood
(11) Shutting down the government
(12) Attempt to destroy the EPA.
(13) Attempting to eliminate financial counseling.
(14) Passed a House budget that gives $4 trillion in tax cuts to the rich.
(15) Spend $500,000 to discriminate against gays.
(16) Continued toadying for the rich.
(17) Pretending the deficit is to blame for slow job growth.
(18) De-funded SETI. (ARGH!!!!!!!)
(19) Tried to kill Chrysler two years ago... which is now going to pay back all its government loans.
(20) The Judicial Branch of the GOP, the Supreme Court, votes 5-4 to deny consumer class-action suits.
(21) Redefining rape. Yes, redefining rape.
(22) Pushing for spending caps tied to GDP. Bad idea.
(23) Claimed credit for dropping oil prices because they passed a bill.
(24) Refuse to reduce oil subsidies.
(25) Stood helplessly and watched as Senator John Ensign made Bill Clinton look like a Carmelite nun.

Nope. No job creation here. Seriously. Not a fucking employment sausage. Move along. Move along.

I'll keep adding to this list until the Republican House does something to create jobs. I unhappily predict this is gonna be one lonnnnng list. After all, you don't get rid of a sitting president by helping the economy.

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Fox News Lies!And what manner of lie is Fox News spewing today? Anything to do with the rapper, Common. This one's particularly odious as it's more blatant racism on Fox's part.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.


end rant

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"The Intro & the Outro" by The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band



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Today's Google Chow.

Republican: I refuse to believe that bin Laden is dead! I don't believe anything until I see photographic proof!

Kid: Excuse me, sir, but have you ever seen pictures of your mother naked?
Republican: No! No, of course not!

Kid: Wanna buy some?