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Screw the Debt Ceiling

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The Shock Doctrine Party

greedy girl"Get the whole set!"

These four words describe what's instrinsically wrong with the human race, this insatiable need to acquire. How many houses does Rupert Murdoch own? How many cars are parked in Jay Leno's garage? How many wives would a man accumulate if there weren't rules against harems? What makes David Koch's stockpiling of congressmen any different from the crazy lady who hoards cats?

Currently 1% of Americans own 90% of the wealth. Is there really any need for that? Are we not going to wake up and notice how burdensome this is to our economy until one man owns everything?

We undoubtedly turn a blind eye to such naked avarice because we all secretly imagine ourselves in that position someday. I'd say "Do the math" but we live in a country where nobody loses when they go to Vegas.

Riiiiight.

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shut up, fool!Whenever I find myself trapped by a lousy movie, something which happens wayyy too often these days, I will inevitably drift off to sleep. This is not a problem when I'm at home but a nuisance in public as I make noise as I snooze. Trouble is, I don't snore.... I talk, a phenomenon language wonks refer to as "somniloquy".

Yes, I can't shut up even when I'm asleep.

Since I'm usually unconscious I have no idea what the drivel which tumbles from 'twixt my lips sound like (I'm not alone in this, evidently) but I'm told it's pure, vowel-powered gibberish. However, I remember my mother used to make these same noises when she napped. I found them... disturbing.

Luckily for me Beloved Girlfriend finds my Slumberland Serenades perversely endearing. In fact, years ago we found ourselves in a packed theatre for a showing of "Sleepy Hollow". The room was warm, the plot was moronic, and about halfway through the film my brain threw in the towel and I drifted off into Mikey's Magic Fairyland.

I dont know how long I was out but I was startled awake to find the entire audience looking back at me. None too happily, either. I glanced to my left to find Beloved Girlfriend staring lovingly at me, wide-eyed, grinning like a loon, savoring the whole weird spectacle. The audience be damned, she admitted later. She was having a great time watching me make a stupefied fool of myself in public.

I have since discovered a remedy for this condition. It's called the Tootsie Pop. No matter how lunk-headed the production I can always stay conscious as long as I have a Tootsie Pop or two to gnaw on. It's the miracle food.

I bring this whole silly story up as BG is currently on a three-times-a-day antibiotic regimen that has the unfortunate side-effect of putting her almost immediately to sleep. That means now is the perfect time to take her see the long-awaited, and final, Harry Potter movie .

Heh-heh-heh.

Tootsie Pop, my dear?

=Lefty=


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john boehner"We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner, February 10, 2011.

The following is #56 in a list of Republican job creation activities since they gained control of the House in 2011. None, sad to say, have yet to result in one, single new job.

(56) 7-22-2011: While unemployment claims are rising again the GOP is putting the screws to small airports in order to kill union labor.

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Fox News Lies!And what manner of lie is Fox News spewing today? Well, Bill O'Reilly thinks all you mothers out there are a bunch of drunken sluts.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.


end rant

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George Carlin reminds you who is in charge. (It ain't us.)


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Today's amazing mystery comic is:
THREE PANEL SOUL

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Today's Google Chow.

GOP: We are enormously proud to have been chosen by the people and
tasked with the job of fixing this government.

Reporter: That’s very noble of you. By putting people back to work
you almost guarantee a second term for the president.

Pause

GOP: Screw the debt ceiling.