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Republican Job Creation Watch

john boehner"We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner, February 10, 2011.

The following is a chronological list of actions by the GOP since they won the House in 2010. So far none of it has resulted in one new job being created in America.

Although this list began as a joke its current imposing length, without one anecdotal citation of new employment, is simply astonishing.

Non-Job Creation Actions of 2011:

(1) Attempted curtailing of abortion rights.

(2) Attempted defunding of Planned Parenthood.

(3) Attempted defunding of NPR.

(4) Investigating Muslims.

(5) Declaring English as America's Official Language.

(6) Reaffirming "In God We Trust". Yawn.

(7) 3-28-2011: Challenging AARP's tax-exempt status.

(8) 4-1-2011: Approved defunct funding for failed religious schools.

(9) 4-6-2011: Attempt to destroy Medicaid.

(10) 4-8-2011: Attempt to destroy Planned Parenthood.

(11) 4-11-2011: Planning on shutting down the government

(12) 4-13-2011: Attempt to destroy the EPA.

(13) 4-15-2011: Attempting to eliminate financial counseling.

(14) 4-18-2011: Passed a House budget that gives $4 trillion in tax cuts to the rich.

(15) 4-20-2011: Spent $500,000 to discriminate against gays.

(16) 4-22-2011: Continued toadying for the rich.

(17) 4-25-2011: Pretending the deficit is to blame for slow job growth.

(18) 4-27-2011: De-funded SETI. (ARGH!!!!!!!)

(19) 4-29-2011: Tried to kill Chrysler two years ago... which is now going to pay back all its government loans.

(20) 5-2-2011: The Judicial Branch of the GOP, the Supreme Court, votes 5-4 to deny consumer class-action suits.

(21) 5-4-2011: Redefining rape. Yes, redefining rape.

(22) 5-6-2011: Pushing for spending caps tied to GDP. (That's a really, really REALLY bad idea.)

(23) 5-9-2011: Claimed credit for dropping oil prices because they passed a bill.

(24) 5-11-2011: Refuse to reduce oil subsidies.

(25) 5-13-2011: Stood helplessly and watched as Senator John Ensign made Bill Clinton look like a Carmelite nun.

(26) 5-16-2011: Attempt to retool Rep. Paul Ryan's Medicare-killing bill.

(27) 5-17-2011: Prevented the raising of the federal debt limit. Let the catastrophic job loss begin.

(28) 5-18-2011: Watches Rome burn with their Wall Street pals.

(29) 5-19-2011: Filibustered bill to repeal oil subsidies.

(30) 5-20-2011: Rejected Goodwin Liu for judge simply because Mr. Obama nominated him.

(31) 5-23-2011: Abortion. Abortion. Abortion. As in "restrictions".

(32) 5-27-2011: Spent five hours debating NPR, five minutes debating Afghanistan.

(33) 5-27-2011: GOP releases their jobs plan. Hilarity ensues.

(34) 5-30-2011: Continue to hold the debt limit hostage in order to make more money for billionaires.

(35) 6-1-2011: Brought to the House floor a bill specifically blaming President Obama's 2012 budget for raising the statutory debt limit by $2.4 trillion dollars, a budget the very same Republican-led Congress earlier passed.

(36) 6-6-2011: 6-3-2011: Pulled from the floor a Democratic resolution to remove soldiers from Libya, because it just might have passed.

(37) Conceived a plan to replace three federal employees with just one federal employee. Yes, they're now actually reducing jobs.

(38) 6-9-2011. Nothing. They did absolutely nothing to create jobs. Not a damn thing.

(39) 6-13-2011. Nothing, though they're jabbering a lot about privatizing Social Security. Again. Sigh.

(40) 6-15-2011. Attempts to cut billions from needy seniors and hungry children in order to raise the defense budget... again.

(41) 6-17-2011. The GOP is censoring Democratic congressional newsletters because they're using the GOP's own words to define the Ryan Budget. Nice.

(42) 6-20-2011: The GOP held a convention in New Orleans and hired an Obama look-alike to stand on stage and tell racist jokes. So +1 to the GOP for giving a man a job but -1,000,000 points for the kind of job it was.

(43) 6-22-2011: I'm sad to report that the GOP didn't do a dang thing to create jobs today, but I'll give them credit for not using senior citizens for skeet shooting practice.

(44) 6-24-2011: Yesterday the Democratic Congress stood up on its back legs and finally barked out what so many of us have been saying for the past six months--- that the Republican Congress is actively trying to stall the economy. There, was that so harrrrrrrd?

(45) 6-27-2011: The Republican Congress voted to raise the debt ceiling EIGHTEEN times for President Bush. Now they're holding their breaths and pitching fits and perfectly willing to cause world economic collapse just because that darned old spendthrift Obama wants to eliminate their corporate jet depreciation tax credit. Oy vey.

(46) 6-29-2011: Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI) spent $9 million dollars of his own money in his race for a senate seat in 2010 but afterwards had his own company pay him back to the tune of $10 million in "deferred compensation". Is this illegal? Very probably, though it oddly resulted in a new American job: Senator Ron Johnson. So way to go, GOP! Only ten million more jobs to go.

(47) 7-1-2011: The GOP is on vacation until the 7th of July, even though a world-altering problem with the debt ceiling is looming. But don't worry, Democratic Senator Harry Reid and his left-wing pals are staying in Washington to get some real work done.

(48) The GOP was off for the 4th of July holidays.

(49) 7-6-2011: No new jobs to speak of but the GOP is working diligently to keep their true constituency, Wall Street fat cats, employed by attempting to roll back the financial reforms passed last year.

(50) 7-8-2011: Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor's bright idea is to close tax loop holes.... and then give the accumulated monies back to the rich in the form of reduced taxes. That's our little non-job-makers!

(51) 7-11-2011: Speaker of the House John "Weepy-Boy" Boehner admits that not raising the debt limit will cost jobs. Ahhh, that explains everything. Atta boy, GOP!

(52) 7-13-2011: The GOP claims they passed 9 bills that would create 500,000 jobs. Except they didn't create jobs. They really, really didn't.

(53) 7-15-2011: Finally. The GOP is doing some investigating, but it's not about Wall Street or Rupert Murdoch. The target in their cross hairs this time is <groan> Planned Parenthood. Again. This is the official definition of insanity, you know.

(54) 7-18-2011: Not only does the GOP continue to insist on slashing federal spending, which will cost jobs, jobs and more jobs, but now they want to hack the Constitution.

(55) 7-20-2011: Are you ready? They supported a bill that would "amend the Securities Act of 1933 to specify when certain securities issued in connection with church plans are treated as exempted securities for purposes of that Act." Ooooh, I'm all a-tingle.

(56) 7-22-2011: While unemployment claims are rising again the GOP is putting the screws to small airports in order to kill union labor.

(57) 7-25-2011: Speaker of the House John Boehner walks out of a debt ceiling meeting because that mean old pwesident Obama wouldn't knife his health care plan. Poor widdle John.

(58) 7-27-2011: No new jobs but at least 4000 workers have hit the bricks as a result of the GOP's jihad against airport unions.

(59) 7-29-2011: The GOP wasted the past two days on its version of a debt ceiling bill that even its own party won't vote for. John Boehner is a miserable failure as both the Majority Leader and as a shepherd for these hard times.

(60) 8-1-2011: The GOP breaks out the fiddles while the economy burns. The tune they favor is the "Screw The Poor and the Elderly" polka, and they're hitting the coda HARD.

(61) 8-3-2011: The GOP is screwing everyone over, except the airlines who are reaping fat profits by stealing what used to be taxes, by refusing to fund the FAA.

(62) 8-5-2011: GOOD NEWS! The GOP has a plan to create 300,000 jobs.... no, wait. That's eliminate 300,000 jobs. Sorry.

(63) 8-8-2011: The GOP is on vacation but their henchmen continue to usurp the voting process by sending out phony absentee ballots.

(64) 8-10-2011: The GOP is proposing something called the REINS act which essentially gets rid of safety inspectors. So less jobs and more poison in your children's food. It's win-win, uh, lose-lose, uh, whatever!

(65) 8-12-2011: Employees of Boeing had their jobs illegally pulled out from underneath them. Guess which political party is doing their best to see that these employees don't have their day in court. Bingo!

(66) 8-15-2011: Yayyyy! Republican Darrell Issa, Chairman of the House Oversight Committee (which investigates government corruption) is keeping his home district busy by securing millions of dollars for road and public works projects. I guess it was just a complete coincidence that most of the work is planned near properties Mr. Issa owns. Uh-oh.

(67) 8-17-2011: Republicans Darrell Issa and Dennis Ross introduced a bill in July that would accelerate the destruction of the USPS and put all of its employees, hundreds of thousands of good Americans, out of work.

Fuck Darrell Issa and fuck Dennis Ross! Fuck 'em until their ancestors rise from the dead and beg forgiveness for ever having sired the malevolent little bastards.

(68) 8-19-2011: Hey, look! Good old Darrell Issa, Republican, has hired a guy named Peter Haller to help effect new regulations for banks like Goldman Sachs. Unfortunately, Mr. Heller used to be called Peter Simonyi when he was a vice president for (wait for it) Goldman Sachs. Oh, you can bet you boots there's nothing underhanded about hiding behind another name. Not a thing. Nada. Zip. Zero.

Uh boy.

(69) 8-22-2011: The GOP has a new job-creation plan... to have one rammed down their throats.

You see, the Democrats want to include a job-creation trigger in the new Super Committee that will require the Republican Party to vote either for or against it. To vote against it would be, uhhh, dumb but I wouldn't put anything past our little conservative pals. Stay tuned.

(70) 8-24-2011: The GOP has been quiet on the job front lately so I have a request of Republican Presidential candidate Rick Perry...

Re-invest in your porno companies, Rick.

It doesn't have to be a large investment but at the very least you'd put a few porn stars back on the cock, uh, I mean clock. Heck, if you're lucky they might even name a new position after you, one that no doubt involves anal lube.

(71) 8-26-2011: Hey! It's our old pal Darrell Issa again, and he's hired a very nice man named Kurt Bardella to work for him on the Oversight Committee... only it's the same Kurt Bardella he fired five months ago for breach of trust. Guess this leopard found some really effective spot remover.

(72) 8-29-2011: Suppose you have a job but you need help with your mortgage. There's still $30 billion in the Troubled Asset Relief Program but the GOP wants to re-route that money to the federal deficit. This means more people will lose their homes and perhaps become homeless. Eventually jobless. Nice work, GOP.

(73) 8-31-2011: When the GOP returns from vacation they plan on voting every week to gut every government regulation within arm's reach because, you know, "regulation costs jobs". What this means, of course, is that regulation has been proven to actually create jobs.

(74) 9-2-2011: After unbridled success wrecking the economy once again with their 'debt ceiling' stunt House and Senate Republicans are starting to mumble about stalling the upcoming Highway Bill, costing Americans almost 2 million jobs. (These bills have traditionally been passed by overwhelming margins.)

(75) 9-3-2011: A recent CNN poll reveals that those who self-identify as Republicans would rather the president focus on jobs, not the deficit, by a margin of 54%-44%. So why has the Republican Party not proposed one, single jobs bill in nine months?

Because they're not Republicans. They're shills for their corporate masters who they can't WAIT to get another Republican stooge in the White House so they can screw the American people all over again like they did from 2001-2009.

(76) 9-5-2011: The GOP is on a Labor Day break, which is sort of like atheists enjoying Christmas services with the Pope, so not much in terms of job creation is happening. For now, we'll just have to thank presidential candidate Mitt "Magic Underpants" Romney for hiring all of the workers who will be laboring to quadruple the size of his California beachfront mansion.

(77) 9-6-2011: Michelle Bachmann has a brilliant new answer for lots of high-paying jobs... slash the corporate tax rate to zero.... except corporate America is already paying an effective rate of zero. Even so, job creation is down the dumper. Back to the Etch-A-Sketch, Michelle.

(78) 9-8-2011: Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, and Herman Cain have just announced their jobs programs. It's tax cuts for the rich. Why didn't we think of this before?

(79) 9-9-2011: Rick Perry wants to kill Social Security. He also wants to eliminate the FDA, the FCC, the U.S. Post Office and just about every other federal employee except soldiers, the Supreme Court and himself. It's kind of a jobs plan if you long for the 12th century.

(80) 9-11-2011: On Friday President Obama outlined a job's plan that is seen by economists as win-win. The Republican response to the program is to whine about it.

(81) 9-12-2011: Not much governing today so I think I'll just make a little comparison... which two types of professions do you think result in more jobs? Wall Street commodity speculators or educators? And which group do you think the GOP is doing its darndest to reduce in numbers?

(82) 9-14-2011: I gotta hand it to the GOP. In this bleak economy they've found a way to increase jobs... in hospital emergency rooms. What they're doing is trying to cut funding in the transportation bill for bike paths and pedestrian walkways, thus ensuring more mayhem on our streets and guaranteed employment for EMT workers. It's pure gee-nyuss I tells ya!

(83) 9-15-2011: Today the GOP-led House passed a bill that would make it easier to fire union workers, union organizers, or simply move jobs overseas in order to bust a union. In essence, an anti-jobs bill.

(84) 9-16-2011: The government has provided loans that help the auto industry create jobs, that helped keep the assembly of the Ford Focus and the Nissan Leaf here in America. Republican Majority Leader Eric Cantor plans to strip half that money to repair damage from Hurricane Irene... in HIS district.

(85) 9-16-2011: President Obama is trying to fast track job creation for a company called LightSquared and Republicans are pissed, evidently because the employer had the nerve to donate to the Democratic Party. He, uh, also donated to the Republican Party.

(86) 9-19-2011: Republican Majority Leader Eric Cantor is back with a pithy statement about Mr. Obama's jobs bill: "While an all or nothing approach might make sense to some communicators, I hope the President realizes it would be better to work together." This from a man whose job it is to say "No" to anything the president proposes. I hope he gets a painful boil on his uvula.

(87) 9-21-2011: The House and Senate conducted no business on Monday and damned little occurred today. The Jobs Jinx continues.

(88) 9-23-2011: Look! It's Darrell Issa, Republican chairman of the House Oversight Committee, creating jobs. He's stumping for a huge loan package on behalf of a company, Aptera, which makes electric cars. This is great news, especially for the green economy, although I wonder if Mr. Issa would be so ecstatic if the company in question wasn't a major contributor to his campaigns.

Oops.

One more thing... the day after sending the glowing recommendation to the Energy Department Mr. Issa conducted a hearing entitled "How Obama’s Green Energy Agenda is Killing Jobs." Double-oops.

(89) 9-26-2011: The GOP is being suspiciously quiet so I want to take this opportunity to show you just how badly the Bush administration fucked-over the American people. Here's a chart of the GNP for this country over the past 60 years:



See that massive drop in 2008, the only drop in over 60 years? That's the Bush administration shedding jobs in this country hand over fist, just so the could have the corporate-owned media blame Mr. Obama.

As you can see the GNP has recovered and business in this country is doing fine but they're not hiring and they're not going to hire until Mr. Obama is gone. It's not enough for the Koch's of this world to reap absurd profits. They want it all.

(90) 9-28-2011: In a way the GOP has found a way to employ more Americans as they've proposed a bill that would force authorities to deport undocumented immigrant women who are victims of domestic violence and come to them for help. This means more cook, maid, field-hand, and day-care jobs for honest Americans.

(91) 9-30-2011: Here's a novel way that the GOP creates fewer jobs; Refusing to appoint federal judges. Only 62% of Mr. Obama's choice of judges (A record glacial pace) have been approved so far and some have had to undergo the process for over a year. As far as the GOP is concerned, the only good activist judge is a Republican-appointed activist judge.

(92) 10-3-2011: Does it come as a surprise to anyone that the GOP is trying to slash job-training  programs?

(93) 10-5-2011: Today was the day the president's jobs' bill was introduced. It was blocked by not one, not two, but three parliamentary procedures by the GOP. They, of course, have the right to do that but the least the little bastards could do is create a jobs plan of their own as a counter-move. But they can't do that as it would expose them for the progress-blocking charlatans they are.

(94) 10-7-2011: The Republicans are thumping their chests in response to the President's jobs bill, hooting about the six jobs creation bills that they've passed and which are currently stalled in the Senate. But, y'see, there's good reason for them to be stalled. As in, they don't create jobs.

(95) 10-10-2011: Here is what the GOP is trying to get you to believe: As long as the country continues to shed jobs it will eventually create jobs.

(96) 10-12-2011: Hey! Look at that! The GOP voted down President Obama's jobs bill. Good thing they had another jobs bill of their own ready to.... Oh, they didn't? Really? What a shock.

The GOP isn't really that stupid and they don't think the public is really that stupid, they're just not going to do anything that might help the economy.

(97) 10-14-2011: For the GOP, a day without dooming women to a horrible death is like a day without sunshine.

On the bright side, the GOP unveiled a jobs bills... if by "jobs" you mean destroying the environment, excising unions, off-shoring jobs, and making the rich even richer.

(98) 10-17-2011: Amtrak, for all its faults, carried a record number of riders last year, indicating an undeniable need for its service. Naturally, the GOP wants to cut its funding off at the knees, possibly resulting in killing it altogether. But who cares, right? Rich people don't ride public transportation.

(99) 10-19-2011: The House is on vacation this week so the Tea Party Nation is rising to the challenge of job-creation by, uh, demanding that businesses stop hiring. In their constipated little minds they feel that this will teach President Obama a lesson for being a socialist, or a dictator, or.... something.

(100) 10-21-2011: The Washington Post is firmly in the Republican bag, but even they came right out and called the Republican jobs bill "ludicrous".

(101) 10-24-2011: The GOP is still on vacation but that doesn't stop Republican congressman Paul Ryan from rolling up his sleeves and trying to cut Pell Grants. He thinks they're a scam even though he himself used government money to put himself through college. Thanks a heap, ya hypocrite.

(102) 10-31-2011: A new report revels that GOP "job-creating" spending cuts resulted in the loss of 370,000 jobs. Gosh, who'd-a-thunk?

(103) 11-2-2011: According to the AP the Republican jobs plan would create no jobs.

So what does the GOP spend the day doing? They voted to reaffirm that "In God We Trust" is the national motto, just in case someone missed the point that they no longer give a crap about doing anything useful.

(104) 11-4-2011: Yay! It's a GOP jobs bill! No, wait... sorry, they're just deregulating securities and calling it a jobs bill. My mistake.

(105) 11-7-2011: While the GOP stood around with their thumbs up their rumps the Democrats introduced an unemployment extension bill.

(106) 11-9-2011: One of the first things the GOP did after gaining the House after the 2010 mid-terms was change the schedule so that they'd work fewer days, only 109 days the entire year. (The average sucker works 258 days a year.) The House will be in session only 16 more days the rest of the year. Now you know why nothing gets done.

(107) 11-11-2011: The so-called "Super Committee" is trying to find ways to cut the deficit, but the Republicans on the Committee want to make the Bush tax cuts permanent, which would only makes things worse. Nice going, ya pinheads.

(108) 11-14-2011: The House and Senate are on hiatus but presidential candidates Gingrich, Bachmann, and Perry want to, respectively, start a war against Iran, make America like China, and turn nuclear regulation over to the equivalent of McDonalds.

(109) 11-16-2011: The House is wasting your time pushing a bill that makes it even easier for people to carry concealed weapons from state-to-state. Can you say "Raw-Meat-Dog- Whistle?". Can you also say "Gabrielle Giffords?"

(110) 11-18-2011: The House is once again considering the "Balanced Budget Amendment", which sounds almost reasonable until you learn it could cost millions of jobs. Oy vey.

(111) 11-21-2011: The Republican half of the Supercommittee refuses to give up the Bush tax cuts. As long as the 1% keeps raking in the dough everyone else will suffer, and they just LOVE that.

(112) 11-23-2011: Though Newt Gingrich couldn't be elected dog-catcher, much less Chief Executive, he's shedding light on the next Great Frontier in GOP job creation... child labor. Yes, according to dear old Newt the little bastards have had it too easy all these years. That's nuclear class-warfare, folks.

(113) 11-25-2011: Rick Santorum, candidate for president, succinctly reminds us why the GOP isn't interested in creating jobs. It's because poor people are supposed to suffer, and making people suffer is the Christian thing to do.

(114) 11-28-2011: Thanksgiving holiday. Lots of football and turkey, not so much job-creation. See you Wednesday.

(115) 11-30-2011: The House did nothing today except postpone votes on suspension bills. Atta boy, GOP!

(116) 12-2-2011: The GOP just killed the payroll tax roll-back, which means they just raised taxes on anyone who gets a paycheck. This also means more money out of the pockets of the Average Joe and fewer jobs as there's less money to go around. I'll bet Speaker Boehner is just crying his eyes out.

(117) 12-5-2011: The GOP's idea to pay for the payroll tax cut is to cut food stamps and unemployment benefits by pitching it as a way to punish people making over a million dollars. I kid you not.

(118) 12-7-2011: The GOP is wasting time gearing-up to oppose the nomination of Richard Cordray as head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, even though Mr. Cordray will probably be appointed during congressional recess.

(119) 12-9-2011: The U.S. Postal Service is going to cut 28,000 jobs because the Republican Party passed a law in 2006 requiring the PO to fund 75 years of retiree benefits in just ten years.

Fuck you, GOP, and damn you to Hell.

(120) 12-12-2011: Nearly 15% of workers are projected to be unemployed at some point in 2012. Way to keep that laser-like focus on jobs, GOP.

(121) 12-14-2011: The House spent the day passing a payroll tax-cut extension bill which, because it's packed to the gills with poison pills, has no chance of escaping the Senate alive. The little bastards knew it and passed the bill anyway just so they can say the Democrats vetoed a payroll tax-cut bill.

(122) 12-16-2011: Today the House wasted time debating the excremental SOPA bill, but it was ultimately tabled until the 16th. Call your congressman now and demand he oppose this wretched bit of legislation.

(123) 12-19-2011: The GOP is getting the hell out of Dodge for the holidays, but a quick accounting of their first year in charge of the House reveals they voted a record 191 times against environmental protection laws. That's almost one vote for every day they were in session. Yuck!

(124) 12-21-2011: Today the House leadership rejected without vote a Payroll Tax Cut bill that the Senate and House would have overwhelmingly voted for. If you need any further proof that the only thing the GOP cares about is how badly it can ruin the economy, this is it.

Wow. Just... wow.

---------------------

Non-Job Creation Actions of 2012:

1-2-2012: Congress will return to session on January 17th. They will work for six whole days this month. Must be nice. Don't expect much Federal job creation during this period.

1-18-2012: Here we GO!
On Tuesday, the 17th, the House selected a new, as-yet-unnamed, Sergeant-At-Arms. On the 18th the House will attempt, and fail, to vote down Mr. Obama's request for a debt increase. The House will then adjourn until Monday.

1-20-2012: Congress is in recess until Monday. Have a nice weekend, everyone, and enjoy your food stamps.

1-23-2012: Not much today. Just a panel discussion on doing business with the military, plus some GOP shenanigans called the Legally Binding Budget Act of 2011. Simply put, it's an attempt to make the president culpable for lousy budgets.

1-25-2012: John Boehner claims that the GOP passed 30 jobs bills in the past session of Congress. Well, they passed 30 "somethings" but they certainly had little to do with job creation. Follow the link and laugh.

1-27-2012: The House held hearings on Wednesday trying to cut retirement benefits for federal employees. They also redefined what an "aircraft" is. They then took Thursday off.

1-30-2012: On Friday, the 27th, the House was in session for a whole four minutes.  Aaaaand, the House is basically in recess until the 1st of February.

2-1-2012: On Tuesday, the 31st, the House voted on a motion to consider the repeal of the CLASS Program, part of the Affordable Health Care Act aimed at helping low-income citizens get health care. It passed on party lines. Don't expect it to escape the Senate.

2-3-2012: The House proposed a bill that keeps welfare recipients out of strip clubs, casinos, and liquor stores. The actual purpose of the bill was to have Democrats vote against it so that their Republican opponents can claim Democrats are FOR such nonsense. The bill passed 395-27 but it will die in the Senate, so ha-ha-ha, GOP.

2-6-2012: Last week House Republicans approved language for debate on two bills that would gut Federal programs without having to pass specific legislation. This would, essentially, equal more tax cuts for big business.

2-8-2012: The consistent upward trend in employment numbers would seem to be an excellent time for the GOP to bathe in glory as shepherds of the economy. But even though they've done absolutely nothing to increase employment for the past year all they can do is grumble that "More should be done". For once, they're right.

2-10-2012: House Republican's are watering down the insider trading bill so that Democrats will vote against it. Thus, come November, our GOP pals can say that Democrats are actually for insider trading. What more could we expect from these useless conservative sleezeballs?

2-13-2012: Today there will be exactly one hearing about "exploring all energy options." It should be called "exploring oil energy options."

Meanwhile, Senate Republicans are trying to kill the Violence Against Women Act.

2-15-2012: So which party has introduced "the most partisan" and "worst transportation bill [Transportation Secretary Ray Lahood] has seen in 35 years?"

Go on... guess.

2-17-2012: The House will presumably vote on and pass the payroll tax extension today. Then they'll leave town for ten days in order to celebrate Presidents Day. Cushy gig.

2-26-2012: Congress is out this week on an extended Presidents Day vacation. Between now and April they're going to take four weeks off. Who the heck made this ridiculous schedule? (Hint: The majority party in the House. The idea being that less Congress is in session, the less gets done.) No jobs were created.

2-27-2012: Congress is back in action and today they'll be considering H.R. 4078, "The Regulatory Freeze of Jobs Act of 2012." It's worse than it sounds as its intent is "to provide that no agency may take any significant regulatory action until the unemployment rate is equal to or less than 6.0 percent." Cue the sad trombone sound. No jobs were created.

2-29-2012: The House failed to pass the Research Works Act, which would have prohibitied federal agencies from releasing the result of taxpayer-funded research. No jobs were created.

3-2-2012: Yesterday the House spent most of the day debating and passing the San Joaquin Valley Water Reliability Act. Meanwhile, in the Senate, Democrats, plus Olympia Snowe, fended off the execrable Blunt Amendment. Meanwhile, Speaker Boehner vows to continue contraception fight. Because it's all about jobs. No jobs were created.

3-5-2012: On Thursday, the 1st of March, the House unanimously voted to allow itself to give oral histories of the civil rights era, then condemned Iran for finding one of its citizens guilty of apostasy. The House then took Friday off. No jobs were created.

3-7-2012: On Monday the House spent two whole hours naming two federal buildings and a post office. Then adjourned for the day. On Tuesday they spent the day shuffling paper regarding a Bureau of Reclamation bill involving hydropower development. No jobs were created.

3-9-2012: The House spent all day Thursday debating H.R. 3606, the "Jumpstart Our Business Startups (JOBS) Act". It is better known as the "Reopening American Capital Markets to Emerging Growth Companies Act". What it actually is, is a financial market deregulation bill. What it REALLY is, is a fake jobs bill. No jobs were created.

3-12-2012: Last Friday members of the House attended a hearing in Saranac Lake, NY, to discuss a farm bill. No jobs were created.

On Monday the House has scheduled a single hearing on (Are you ready?) "Explosion of Federal Regulations Threatening Jobs and Economic Survival in the West"... in Elko Nevada. DAMN those regulations! No jobs were created.

3-14-2012: The House is in another recess until Tuesday, the 20th of March. (The GOP wrote this schedule. It was designed to ensure that as little legislation would get done as possible.) No jobs were created.

3-19-2012: The House is theoretically in session. They're back in Washington but nothing much is scheduled this week except for hearings. They might as well be painting their bedroom's black and listening to Led Zeppelin albums. No jobs were created.

3-21-2012: On Monday, the 19th, the House was called to order at 4PM. They then spent the next four hours arguing a bill that would allow Israeli nationals to receive nonimmigrant visas. No jobs were created.

On Tuesday, the 20th, the House convened at Noon. They then spent the balance of the day arguing over the disposition of a parcel of land in Accomack County, Virginia. No jobs were created.

3-23-2012: For the past two days the House has been debating H.R. 5, the "HEALTH" bill, which is actually about tort reform. No jobs were created.

3-26-2012: The House took last Friday off. No jobs were created.

3-28-2012: The House debated FCC transparency, baby monitors, and a transportation bill but nothing of note passed. No jobs were created, either.

3-30-2012: The House voted to end Medicare, again, but at least they signed a 90-day extension to the transportation bill. No jobs were created.

4-2-2012: The House vacated the premises early last Friday and won't be back in session until the 16th of April. No jobs will be created.

4-9-2012: The House has scheduled a series of hearings for the next two weeks. No jobs will be created.

4-16-2012: The House is back in session but it's mostly just nuts-and-bolts stuff this week. Although a vote on another corporate tax cut bill (H.R. 9) is in the offing.

4-18-2012: The House voted down the Buffet Rule, awarded Lena Horne a posthumous Congressional Gold Medal, then argued the rest of the day about rules to "enhance" hunting, fishing, and shooting. No jobs were created.

4-20-2012: The House passed "The Small Business Tax Cut Act" (H.R. 9) but they might as well have named the bill "Ponies For Everyone" because it wasn't about small business, and it will never pass the Senate. No jobs were created today.

4-23-2012: The House was in pro forma session. No jobs were created.

4-25-2012: The House spent the day dealing with the legislative version of cleaning their room. In this case it meant passing bills that dealt with adjustments to the boundaries of parklands, land swaps, and the like. No jobs, or anything remotely like them, were created.

4-27-2012: The House pased a couple of suspension bills (The DATA Act and the Small Business Credit Availability Act). They also passed CISPA, which is distressing, but the prez has promised a veto. Looking forward to that. Oh, and no jobs were created.

4-30-2012: On Friday the House approved a bill that lowers the interest on student loans, but tacked on a rider which guts the Health Care Act. It's designed to result in a presidential veto, at which point Republicans can claim that Mr. Obama doesn't care about student loans.

Fuck these people! Fuck these people! Fuck these horrible, greedy, useless, poisonous bags of scum!

5-2-2012: The House is in recess until 5-7-2012. No jobs will be created.

5-9-2012: The House is back in session but they only passed a handful of suspension bills. No jobs were created.

5-11-2012: The GOP-led House passed several bills that denied the Obama administration funds to fight for progesssive issues. Read the dismal details here. No jobs were created even though Speaker Boehner again claimed the GOP had a tight focus on jobs... when being specifically asked about why his party is passing so much anti-gay legislation. Fuck this guy.

5-14-2012: Last Thursday the House passed the Sequestration Replacement Act, designed to fatten the Pentagon coffers at the expense of the elderly and the poor. It is destined to die in the Senate. No Jobs were created.

5-16-2012: The House was not in session on Monday, but on Tuesday the legislators busied themselves passing noncontroversial suspension bills. Ho-hum. No jobs were created, but you already knew that.

5-18-2012: The House passed a watered-down Violence Against Women Act. Basically, if you're an immigrant or a native American woman you're fair game for any sadist. They'll pass a major defense funding bill tomorrow and then will take the next week off. No jobs were created.

5-21-2012: On Friday the House passed a bloated defense spending bill, even though they were obligated to cut defense spending as part of the Super Committee agreement. Not only did the new bill include discriminitory language it also included an amendment allowing the government to institute propaganda against the American people. The president has vowed to veto this bill. No jobs were created unless you count the military contractors rolling in effluent streams of your tax dollars.

5-23-2012: Say it with me now: "The House is in recess until the 30th. Must be nice to have so many vacations. Oh, how I hate those indolent GOP swine."

6-1-2012: Another day, another abortion bill. This time the "Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act." Which was designed to stop abortions based on sex or race. Seriously. It failed. Apart from that bit of nonsense the day was one long last-minute rush to pass bills that pay the bills. No jobs were created.

6-4-2012: Last Friday three Democratic (Hahn, Kaptur, Tonko) amendments to increase funding  for energy efficiency and renewable energy failed, while three Republican (Hultgren, Chaffetz, McClintock) amendments to reduce funding of energy efficiency and renewable energy also failed. No jobs were created.

6-6-2012: The House was not in session on Monday but on Tuesday it spent the day amending water and energy bills, mostly shuffling money from one account to another. It was not a job creating event.

6-8-2012: The House passed a bill to repeal a new exise tax on medical devices. The GOP refers to this as a "jobs bill". A waste of time as the Senate will not consider the bill.

In the meantime the GOP is still losing its shit over lightbulbs, voting to restrict funding for the application of energy-efficient lighting (Which are manufactured in Hell itself.) No jobs were created.

6-11-2012: On Friday the House voted to cut funding for Open World Leadership Center, the Congressional Research Service, and the Washington Botanic Garden. But they voted themselves funs to print some snazzy new pocket-sized editions of the U.S. Constitution to hand out to constituents. As always, no jobs were created.

6-13-2012: The House is in recess until the 18th of June. And, before you ask, no jobs were created.

6-20-2012: The past two days have seen nothing fancy from the House. Just a couple of suspension bills and some laws aimed at American Indians. No attempt was made to create jobs.

6-22-2012: The clusterfuck that is the Republican-led House of Representatives spent much time dawdling over the transportation bill, the only meaningful jobs bill under consideration. (Don't get your panties twsited about the "jobs" part of this bill. This same bill sails thorugh the House every year... unless Barack Obama is president.)

6-25-2012: The House adjourned on Friday, the 22nd. No jobs were created.

6-27-2012: The House was not in session Monday but was in session until almost 11:30 Tuesday night. Nothing got done. They couldn't even agree to name four post offices. No jobs were created.

6-29-2012: On Thursday, the 28th, the House passed several Homeland Security bills, named a couple of post offices, and voted to hold U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of.... something because the right-wing base is screaming for blood and they must be appeased. No jobs were created.

7-2-2012: On Friday, the 29th, the House grudgingly passed the Transportation Bill, which has never been a problem up until now, and mortgaged the future of college graduates. No jobs were created.

The House is now adjourned until the 9th of July.

7-11-2012: The House spent the entire day Tuesday debating the repeal of the Affordable Care Act. This is the 33rd time in 18 months that they've tried this. According to the Congression Research Service these votes have cost the tax-payers $50 million dollars. No jobs were even remotely created.

7-13-2012: On Wednesday, the 11th, the House voted for repeal of the Affordable Care Act, then stopped to discuss golf. I am not kidding. No jobs were created.

7-16-2012: Having failed to ACTUALLY repeal the Affordable Care Act the House took Friday the 13th off, 'cause it's SCAAAAARY. No jobs were created.

7-18-2012: The House was in recess on Monday the 16th. On the 17th it passed both a Department of State appropriations bill and the Insular Areas Act of 2011. (Insular areas are, generally speaking, small islands which the U.S. claims for itself.)

7-20-2012: The House spent the 18th and 19th debating the massive Defense Appropriations Bill. No jobs were created.

7-23-2012: The House spent Friday the 20th debating the massive Defense Appropriations Bill. No jobs were created.

7-25-2012: The House spent the 23th and 24th marking time until the August recess debating various suspension bills (requires a 2/3 vote), one of which prohibits the issuance of new regulations on business until the unemployment rate falls below 6%. Need I add which party authored such a nonsensical piece of tripe?

7-27-2012: On Wednesday the 25th the House voted to require a full audit of the Federal Reserve. On Thursday the 26th the House spent most of the day passing amendments for suspension bills, plus one whole hour to fix one typo.

7-30-2012: The House took last Friday, the 27th, off because it was SUCH a tough week accomplishing nothing.

8-1-2012: The House was in recess Monday the 30th. On the 31st they took votes on three bills. One was to reduce executive positions subject to Senate approval and one was to make tax delinquents ineligible for federal jobs. These were essentially job-reducing bills, so of course they both passed. The third was an anti-abortion bill. It failed. Negative jobs were created.

8-3-2012: On Wednesday, the 1st, the House passed a series of suspension rules and eventually voted down a revision of the Bush tax cuts that would have taxed earners making over $250k.

On Thursday, the 2nd, the House passed a resolution that said the government should keep its grubby mitts off the internet.

The House will now be in recess for the next five weeks.

9-10-12 & 9-11-12: The House is finally back in session and the past two days have seen a flurry of voting on various bills, but they all ended on the same note:

"Motion to reconsider laid on the table and Agreed to without objection."

Meaning "Okay, we voted for this turkey but we're going to give it old skunk-eye once more before passing it along to the Senate."

9-12-12: The House passed bills to: extend the FISA Act, promote competitiveness in American manufacturing (don't get excited), and a land swap in Minnesota. No jobs were created.

9-13-12: The House passed nothing today, and for the first time in modern history, in the midst of a terrible drought, the House will not pass a Farm Bill. Not only have no jobs been created but our nation's farmers are going bankrupt. No jobs were created

9-14-12: The House reauthorized the Federal Insecticide, Fungicide, and Rodenticide Act, then limited taxpayer exposure to a 2005 Energy Policy Act. No jobs were created.

9-17&18-2012: The House took the first two days of this week off, because they CAN. No jobs were created.

9-19-12: The House approved: funding for Colordo fish recovery, Mescalero Apache's right to lease water rights, passage of an Iranian boogey-man rule, meaningless lip music to Georgia (Asia), a pancreatic cancer initiative, astronauts right to retain personal artififacts, improved fiduciaries of veterans, donations by tax-payers to the IRS, freeing dead veterasn from educational debt, change in interest rates for the Small Business Act, the tracking of cross-border violence, aid to Burma, banned Chinese drywall, provisions for a National Pediatric Research Network, and the easing of rules to allow veterans to become EMTs. No jobs were created.

9-20-2012:
The House approved:
limiting the Secretary of the Interiors authority to issue regulations untils December of 2012, plus several incomprehensible child welfare bills. No jobs were created.

9-21-12: The House approved the "Stop the War on Coal Act". I needn't remind you how pointlessly absurd this bill was. No jobs were created.

9-24-12: The House took the day off. No jobs were created.

9-25-12: The House played a little game called "Hmm, I wonder what they're doing in the Senate today?" Otherwise, bupkis. No jobs were created.

9-26-12: The House took the day off. No jobs were created.

9-27-12: The House took the day off. No jobs were created.

9-28-12:
The House passed three bills regarding privacy and security issues. No jobs were created.

10-1-12 through 10-5-12:
The House is taking the week off. No jobs were created.


--------------------

Nope. No job creation here. Seriously. Not a fucking employment sausage. Move along. Move along.

I'll keep adding to this list until the Republican House does something to create jobs, but don't get your hopes up. After all, you don't get rid of a sitting president by helping the economy.


The Far Left Side is a 100% self-indulgent conceit of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Illustration • Flash Animation • Web Design
www.privatehand.com

With a big old tip o' the sombrero to
Gary "Permanent Vacation" Larson